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Here INNOVERSON™ has identified a number of ways in which some of the products we sell can positively impact upon your daily lives. Let's hope he does a good job because he gets paid BIG BUCKS. If you find any of these products really useful, email him at innoverson@innovationhouse.com indicating whether or not he can add your experience to the ones here. If you are a late night shopper, from time to time, you will be able to chat with him online here in the store.

(1)

GOOD LORD I am bored!

  Innoverson: Please, leave him out of this. He has more pressing problems to deal with, I am sure. OK…, SHE! Boredom is an earthly problem and at innovationhouse.com, we have an earthly solution.
  Bored: Innoverson, you make it sound so simple. Anyway, what is the solution?
  Innoverson: Have you tried our IDQUEST lie detector game? Never heard of it??? Shhh, you may not want the whole world to know.
  Bored: So, how will that cure my boredom?
  Innoverson: Well, get your friends together.
  Bored: What friends?
  Innoverson: Get your friends together, form two teams, get out the lie detector and the list of socially provocative questions and watch as boredom disappears. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at your friends. See if you can laugh and be bored at the same time. Just click here.
  Bored: Thanks, Innoverson. Maybe there is something to your name after all. You seem to be an INNOVative pERSON.
  Innoverson: Bye Bored.

(2)

GOOD LORD, do you know what they told me? They could not find the place. I am really disappointed. Are you listening?

  Innoverson: Yes, I am.
  Disappointed: They said it was too dark. They didn't know which house it was. They said they would have needed Nightvision Goggles to recognize the house number. They didn't want to hang around out there too long. Like there is something wrong with the neighbourhood. Has that ever happened to you?
  Innoverson: Me? Not lately. I do have Nightvision Goggles but that is not the reason. My address sign is lit at night. There is even a solar version of it. Everyone except…Well, I shouldn't talk about people behind their backs. Everyone can see it in the dark.
  Disappointed: Cool! Let me check it out. I wonder what excuse they will use next time?

(3) GOOD LORD, I can't find my credit card. I am just too absentminded.

  Innoverson: Oh, what a relief! You had me worried there for a while.
  Absentminded: Why? Do you have it?
  Innoverson: No, but I can help prevent you from losing it again.
  Absentminded: You can, eh? Well, this is the third time I have lost it. I may have left it at the store….Bad news!
  Innoverson: Well, they don't call me Innoverson for nothing. OK. Listen. Report the loss immediately to the bank. Tell them you won't lose it again and then let me tell you a story. People misplace their credit and debit cards and their ID all the time. If someone says that they never do, sign them up for the Lie Detector game. If you click here, you can learn all about how the Beeping Wallets we sell can protect your credit card or that shiny $100 bill hanging out of your pocket.
  Absentminded: How does it work?
  Innoverson: Well, whenever you remove your credit card, your wallet will beep every 20 seconds for 5 minutes so that you won't forget to put it back.
  Absentminded: I don't have money for expensive stuff.
  Innoverson: It is not expensive. It costs about the same as a good quality leather wallet. Bye the way, how do you expect to pay for it if you don't have a credit card?
  Absentminded: Oh, I'll send a cheque or email or something but I am not leaving innovationhouse.com without it.
  Innoverson: OK. Bookmark this site. You seem to be a bit forgetful.
  Absentminded: I already did that. Listen, I gotta go.
  Innoverson: Do you have a date?
  Absentminded: No, I am going for a wallet. In fact, I'll get one for my husband as well. If I have one, he says he has to have one too. Well, 'Tis the season to be jolly.

(4) I had a great time at the cottage on the weekend but now that I am home, I worry so much about whether everything there is fine? They say that there will be a storm in that area. I don't know if will be able to sleep tonight. GOOD LORD, how can I get peace of mind?

  Innoverson: Hi Worrisome.
  Worrisome: Hi Inno.
  Innoverson: You mean, Innoverson.
  Worrisome: Whatever!
  Innoverson: Did I ever tell you that you worry too much? Stop worrying! You don't have to reinvent the wheel. What you need is a FoneCam.
  Worrisome: Look! Do you think I have the money to buy a computer and a camera just to send pictures back here?
  Innoverson: Calm down Worrisome. The only computer you will need is the one you already have at home. You only need a telephone connection at the cottage and that you have already. The FoneCam has a built-in modem. It will send pictures back to your PC. You can even connect a motion sensor to it so that if someone breaks in it will send you a picture automatically. So, how many worried people do we have around here now?
  Worrisome: Not me!
  Innoverson: Good. Click here to find out more.

(5) GOOD LORD, I am going to be late again. I just wish this clock would keep the correct time.

  Innoversion: Hi Later. I feel for you. However, there is good news. There will be no need for divine intervention.
  Later Innoverson, you don't know me. I have no luck whatsoever with clocks. It seems like the only thing my clocks are good at is carrying the wrong time. The one upstairs reads Standard Time, the one in the basement is on Daylight Saving Time, and the one in the hall is stuck in time. What am I supposed t o do?
  Innoverson: Well, you are one click away from the solution. We carry a line of clocks that always give you the correct time. Every day, they automatically synchronize with the Atomic Clock at the National Institute of Standards and Technology in Colorado. By the way, that is the most accurate clock in the world. They even automatically adjust when the time changes from Daylight Saving to Standard and vice versa. Not only that, they also adjust for leap seconds.
  Later: Hey, that is scary. Now I will be forced to be on time everytime. I don't know if I can handle that. I don't need a clock to tell me how late I am.
  Innoverson: Come on.You can adjust to it. Scary? Yes! But, Later, it is the only way you will get anywhere sooner.

(6) Good Lord, why can't I borrow the car? Who says I am not a safe driver? I drive carefully.

  Innoverson: Take it easy, kid. You may know that you are a safe driver. But accident statistics for guys your age are not very encouraging. I am sure you can understand your parents concern.
  Safe: What am I supposed to do? Who are you anyway?
  Innoverson: Instead of fussing and fighting over it, why don't you prove to them that you are a responsible driver?
  Safe: So how do you figure I can do that? Do you think they would believe me?
  Innoverson: They don't have to but they would believe Autowatch.
  Safe: What is this Autowatch stuff?
  Innoverson: Well, Autowatch is a little device that can be installed on a vehicle to monitor the way it is being driven. It can be set to activate and start recording whenever the vehicle goes above a certain speed, if the engine is being overrevved or also under other conditions. It even saves the last 25 seconds of vehicle use so that if some other vehicle were to run in to you and the driver accused you of speeding, you would have proof that you were not.
  Safe: Wow! Let me hear what they say now. You know what, I am also going to recommend that they put some on our school buses.

(7) There is a war going on in another part of the world and I can tell you who is dead and who is alive. This morning, I saw them digging up the street outside my home. Good Lord, how come they didn't inform of that?

  Innoverson: Hi Un-informed. You must feel as if your tax dollars are not being put to good use.
  Un-informed: You bet I do.
  Innoverson: Well, I won't comment on that, but they were informing residents about the work on your street every day on TV for the entire week.
  Un-informed: TV? I have one of those fancy new 18" satellite dishes. I get great pictures, great sound but I don't get local channels. Whose fault is that?
  Innoverson: Well, technology has been your downfall but technology can also be your saviour.
  Un-informed: OK! Come on! Save me!
  Innoverson: I can't save you but if you click here, you will find out all about a little antenna you can clip on to your mini-satellite dish that will allow you to bring in local stations. It is easy to install, inexpensive and comes with all the parts you need. Maybe you should check it out.

(8) I can fix that. Just let me get the flashlight I put in my trunk a while back. Good Lord, the battery is dead. Now I can't fix it because we have no light.

  Innoverson: There are no batteries in my flashlights but you can borrow them if you want.
  No Light: Don't try to be funny!
  Innoverson: I am not being funny.
  No light: You got that right!
  Innoverson: If you wind up the spring in this one you will have enough light to reconnect the spark plug cable, clean the battery terminals and add windshield washer fluid.
  No light: So, what's new? Every car has some problem or the other.
  Innoverson: If you shake this flashlight, it will provide enough light for me to help you stop that oil leak. So, what do you want to do? Wind or shake?
  No light: Where did you get that? Give me that thing!
  Innoverson: Got both the wind-up and shake-up from Innovationhouse.com. While you are there you can even get a windup radio.
  No Light: Those people at innovationhouse.com. What will they bring us next?
  Innoverson: Bookmark the site, come back regularly and subscribe to their newsletter.
 

 

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